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Strokes

There nothing much more disturbing for an artist other than having a blank blind. Emptiness in her mind is the most destructible part that could turn her existence into an oblivion. An empty canvas is the representation of her thoughts, her will, her imagination and the portrayal of her soul.

Inspire her and she would create a world where all if the content are the reflection of you. A stroke from a brush, a stroke from a pencil and a stroke from the paint to the canvas is an infinite masterpiece. It is like giving a writer a pen and she wonders in her own world writing page by page. The sensation that could not be stop by any existing force.

After a very intense process and days of mild excruciate to one’s thoughts, seeing her smile to her work is one of the best thing one could see. Hence, we will appreciate the painting much more than we previously intend to; a painting that would define her when she is with you.

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Misinterpretation

Words may give out different meaning. Actions might create a wrong impression. Manoeuvres might be wrongly interpreted. Things is life is not as clear when you nod to someone as to say “Thank you”. Non-verbal act sometimes create and boggling our mind with things that we want to to hear, that we want to see and things that we want to feel.

Once, there was a guy who said that he would wait for the woman; the lover of his life; to finish with her study abroad and patiently he waited for years for her to come back. Upon her return, she was surprised that he is still there in front of her yard. Sadly, she returned alongside a baby she held tight in her arms and a man who greeted him; mistakenly addressed him as the gardener.

So what went wrong? He was clear to her when he said that he would wait but in the end, years of waiting ended with a terrible despair which one could not imagine. But to her, she defines his words as a comfort; something that she think that could make her feel calm when she have to go afar and leave everything behind.

Indeed, how wrong of her to think so.

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Blows and Puff

Dissemination of future are being portray by our prayer in the end of night and following that, we put an effort believing ourselves could reach the star. Neither less, once we hold it; in our mind the bright white light could cherish us but instead we forgetting the fact that it itself could do us harm; and as we touch it, we burn ourselves.

We thought the light is harmless. We thought that the shimmering light would give us hope. We thought that its warmth give us the chance to grant our wishes; but all it did is putting us in a third degree burn; in which unable us to move.

Hurt and despair indeed, we asked the Sun upon the reason it did that to us but the Sun replied by blaming us for forgetting and ignoring its natural state; that we look at it as a hope in which it could kill you directly without any warning, without any mercy. It will kill you.

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Density

The sound of the waves hitting the rock break the silence of thoughts. It’s beautiful indeed; the scene in my mind were playing that is about you and me. Things that tickle my emotion and affection towards you; grasping your hand and kisses you gently on the lips.

The urge of not to lose you rises day by day until it suffocates me. It fills my lungs that unable for me to breath. For a moment, I thought I am going to die; dying without your arms to rest upon, without seeing your last tearful smile and without holding you tight for the last time.

Suddenly, I wake up in a pitch dark room. As I groping my left side of bed expecting to grab your arms, it hits me. The reality, it hits me; that you are forever no more as you left leaving me at the end of the cliff. If I could, I would jump but the pain which excruciates me preventing myself to do so. That so called pain when you walk away.

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True Friends

Everyone need companionship. Everyone needs friends. A friend who accept them as they are; despite anything bad related about you; they still accept you as you are and in return, you accept them as they are, for whom they are. No judgment.

When they know something which could break your heart to pieces; they just keep it to themselves because they don’t bear to see you getting hurt because of you; despite the devil is someone else. Perhaps for you, it is a type of hypocrisy but they actually have a good reason for not to.

Though thick  and thin; they will be there. Despite distance and challenges, they would free up their time for you, not looking up upon free time to spend with you. These are the people who would you depend on at your most vulnerable moment. Keep them, cherish them. Do not ever waste them nor taking them for granted. A good a friend is a good soul.

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Dandelion

For some people, seeing a beautiful round white dandelion shooting up from the ground, they would immediately pluck it and gently blow it as the little stalks starts to fly away following where the wind would scatter it.

For some people, seeing an ugly weed populating their garden cause them to terminate all of them as they perceive those dandelions as something useless and meaningless. They will try with all their might to wipe it out due to the meaning of beauty are totally different.

Life is just like a dandelion. People would appreciate you and some people would try to make you drown. We cannot make all of them happy about us; perhaps because of jealousy or their own nature to do no like you.

But for the people whom appreciate you as you are, feel bless as those people who are real catalyst that make you as what you are right now; even though they are from your past, present or future; be bless.

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So Far Gone

Tell me the walls are talking or the door is looking

tell me the sky is playing the symphony or the earth is singing

tell me whether the water is scary and causing the fire to be horrified

tell me that the air is poisonous and causing the dark and grey to be terrified.

---

Answer me when darken exist in the light

answer me when the snow melts in the bright

answer me when the river flows upwards

answer me when the time goes backwards.

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Question me when all children becomes Benjamin Button

question me when all kings gone by the spring

question me at the doze slumber of a nightingale

question me when all word going to end.

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To Love Somebody

Who says that it is easy to love someone? Who says that it is easy to going through relationship? Who says that it is easy to forget about the person you love? Who says that it is easy to move on? Who says that it is impossible to create a bond?

Loving someone isn’t just about expecting something in return from them; perhaps you might say it is about give and take; but upon self perspective, the main reason why you love someone is because you’re giving half of your heart, your soul and your entire of your hope to share it with someone who is special to you; in a way it could turn you insane in a heartbeat whenever something in the bond goes wrong.

To achieve that level of expectation; doesn’t care what that person has done to you, deep down you’re hurting but you can’t let them go as you accept their flaws more than their good quality.

And that is about truly loving a person; because the assure you that they would never let you go despite bad things that they would do behind your back; there must be a reason, although it is yet non-acceptable; you are the person of their choice; their future, your future, together.

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New Start

There will be a point where you need to leave your comfort zone because you just want to leave everything behind; perhaps for a reason; as it is for a good cause.

You may need to leave your love ones, places you like, food you love and people whom you’re so kin with; as bringing them along in one small corner of memories would make you feel reluctant to go away.

Perhaps you might say there might not be a good decision but certain things remain to be unknown until you actually try to force yourself stepping in the circle of change by trying to adapt with the new surrounding.

A bless in disguise as most people would say it when you finally figure out all the meaning behind it; in which it does takes time but time is one of the things that we need to risk and to be put upon sacrifice.

Just believe those things that you will do is right and trust me; everything will be fine.

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Ego of the Past

It has been a months since you being left; or in reality, got dump after perhaps years of relationship.

Even though you have tried to accept it but your mind keep on rejecting the fact that the person whom you cared, cherished, has left you. Then, you closed your eyes where deep down inside hoping that they would turn back, running towards you and says that it was all joke. As your eyes open, nothing change and you cried as much as you can so the pain would be flow out together with the tears.

Past is a nice place to visit but certainly not a good place to stay as you keep on looking behind; glancing through the times when you were together, flipping the memories both of you went through and reminiscing the moment where your heart whispered, “I could never leave, not to this person whom I devoting my emotion, my love, my feelings”. By doing so, the heart which already in a serious wreckage continue to crumble and the sound of glass shattering turns into a bleeding melody.

In between struggling with the pain and trying to gasping the healing air, a new person walks in and reach out their hand to save you from drowning of exhaustion. While you’re in a big mess, that person decided to halt and trying their best to fix you.

They don’t care about your past, about your story, about yourself before. All they care is to attend you, entertain your rants, your problems and comforting you despite you talk about that particular person who left you and will expect the person who currently trying to save you do the same thing; walking away.

When you’re in that particular state; two things are happening inside you.

First, insecurity issue will rise up as you are afraid the same thing would happen again despite the person; who sincerely wants to know you and keep on reassuring that they wouldn’t do the same. But since you have been traumatized by the past, you feel reluctant to do so.

Secondly, since the past still haunts your mind, it made you still hoping for that person whom left you for good; either they go to someone else or simply doesn’t love you anymore; to come back and since you think it is your mistake on the first place upon the reason they left, you will kneel in front of them, hold and grasp tightly to their legs as you hope they won’t leave you no more.

By analyzing both of the situations, you would understand the reality of what you’re actually facing and phasing through.

Due to the insecurity which currently nurturing inside, you’ll be afraid of being left again and by instinct, you will close your heart from being touched by anyone who wants to try to win you over. The saddest thing is the person who currently saving you has been shut down by you from proceed through as he is halfway there.

WHO ON THE EARTH ARE YOU BY DOING SO!?

Yes, it is about your heart and feelings but it is not your right to deny the a single person chance trying to work things out with you. Everyone in this world owns a chance and it is within their right to give their chance to a person whom they keen; which in this situation is you yourself.

When they give it to you, do keep it in a good shape and when your done evaluating them and coming to a deduction that they are not the one, return it as what being given earlier on. By denying their right, you actually stop their chance from penetrating your wall and end up torn during the process. It won’t look as what it is and in this case, you ought to be blame.

The right way is by let them to put their chance on you despite you’re not ready. But, at least you’re giving them the chance to do so and if they fail, it was worth of try; which they will not be regret.

Another issue which will arise by having you constantly looking back. Snap out of it because the thing that you dream isn't going to happen. They won’t come back! What you’re experiencing are known as “Post-Relationship Ego” where you keep on seeing you’re still in the relationship and that person only walks away for a moment which at the same time believing they would come back plus believing it is not happening; that it is not real.

Thus, you don’t care if a person try to win you over because mentally, emotionally and psychologically, you’re crazy, obsessed and living in a dream. The trauma actually hallucinate you from seeing the real thing in which you will keep on dreaming about it until you decide to wake up.

The best way to get out of it is by giving the person who is trying really hard; putting so much effort to prove to you that they worth it; a chance.

And trust me, you will never feel the same way again.

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Two Guys, A Girl and Getting Her Attention

You have met a girl; cheeky, cheesy, crazy beautiful girl; whom you flirt around during an occasion. Both of you had a meaningful conversation and has giving each other indicators of liking each other.

Getting her attention is the hardest part of initiating in a pre-relationship because in a girl’s mind, giving you her attention easily makes her looks cheap and easy; when it does not look that way to guys who want a fast result and fast delivery. They do not care what linger in a girl’s mind as they would only get the girl for their self intention. By showing effort and with the right way, you are not just obtain her attention but her trust too; as in the “World of Girls” are the most important element in their honour.

Since then, both of you exchanged numbers and other social network profiles; texting and tweeting becoming your daily routine. As you thought that you could bring her up to another level, you suddenly realized there is another eyeing upon her too and that guy is none other is a friend of yours.

Hence, you ended up standing in the fine line of dilemma; either you continuing with the progression or stepping aside, giving your friend a chance to go.

It is even much more difficult to the girl when she have to choose between to guys whom are friends and that terrible feeling that she would get when she actually tied a knot with either one of them.

Thus, the girl have to make a very concrete decision upon on which guy she would lend her heart too. Despite there are two guys who are currently show their interest towards her, she must identify upon which guy that gives out most effort; who call, text and checking upon her consistently; and momentum which does not fade. Therefore, if she decided to choose, the other guy will accept her decision and acknowledge the winner.

But sometimes, it is more complicated than it seems because you put almost everything important in your life at stake; friendship, relationship, romance; and you might loose it all.

Perhaps you can call “dibs” but by declaring it without putting any effort, the other guy would actually stood up front and do the hunting. Then again, calling “dibs” does not work that way.

The nature of a girl that would want a guy who can give her comfort, assurance and make her feel safe, are the major essential keys in which every guy need to understand. You just can’t simply game without the basic knowledge of a girl’s Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When you actually realized and have the information at the back of your head, everything would be smooth for you; despite competition from other guys.

So, what both of them could do is being a gentlemen within the fair play game and puts out effort but don’t over do it as certain girls would easily being turn off if she founds out both of the guys gives out too much as it would create more jumble in her mind and being much more complicated for her to make up her decision.

From there, she would decide that she would walk out and perhaps choose another guy instead. In the end, no one wins.

Which is why, both guys need to take it slow but in a moderate face; not to be aggressive but being progressive to each other as they help themselves out to be a better man than before.

Personally, the girl should go to the first guy who initiate the spark and since he keep his feeling from being known to the competitor; which is also his friend; it is the responsibility of the girl to tell the second guy to step back and tell him that another guy is currently trying to know her well; without giving out the identity; which may cause a lengthy episodes of future drama.

Yet in the end, it is not about who is the worthy ones; but it is about who gives out the best effort and continue to give her even though both of them is already in a relationship.

Fix You

Someone out there has lost their important ones; due to war, disease or accidents. As that person is matter to them the most that will create a hollow inside their heart. Someone’s day would not be normal again. There will be no one to be call ‘best friend’, there will no one to be call ‘brother’, there will no one to be call ‘father’, there will no one to be call ‘sister’ and there will be no one to be call ‘mother’.

Someone out there has lost their love; because the person whom they love decided to walk away, because they choose to be with someone else, because they don’t feel the affection no more. The feelings are terrible as burning passion becomes ashes and as the wind blow it away; the effect of kiln will remain as it try to heal but the surface will be full of unwanted scars, painful memories and shattered hope.

Someone out there has lost their path of life; their failure has caused them to fell down hard to the ground, their objective of life has depicted them as a person without future and people around started to walk away leaving them with no one. Failure caused my wrong decision, by misguiding attraction has caused them kneel to the ground.

Despite all of this, you need to get up, take a deep breath and say to yourself that you will show to yourself that you’re stronger than you realize. Perhaps it is easier said than done but remember, time heals. Things that was your secondary priority, turn them around as the main goal, the purpose of life and the things that you want to protect and cherish because you will might not know when it will be your time to leave, to walk away or drag by failure.

Changes

At one point of our life, we want to change; either from bad to good, from good to better; we want to make it happen as it urge us to see us to challenge and surprise ourselves.

We don’t do it in one go. Instead, we take it slowly, bit by bit; a process that we called transition. During the transition, it is the most crucial and fragile point a person could face because this is where they tend to take a step back from achieving their goal.

Not all step back are negative. Some people perhaps may be ready to take the leap of faith but if they are not entirely ready; compare to some people who would bow down to the pressure made by the society; it make themselves as a winner because they let themselves to made the decision for most made them a person in control.

Hence, they fulfill their intention of changes which is “to be someone better” and putting themselves as the person who are responsible in charge of their life despite how the society would depict their action.

Trust in self alongside with the support of love ones could shut all the mumbles because you believe in what you are believe in; the only differences is that in transition you will face choices and no matter which one you choose, it will not degrade you.

It will make you wiser because you have see the forthcoming future for both choices and each choices will make you a better person, a better self compare to those mumbles who never did anything.

Instead, you have proved that you are excellent compare to them, to your old self and to the choices itself.